It's fine
by nuriiiin
Summary: "I'm sorry." "It's fine." Maybe she actually has been trying to tell herself that it's really fine.


"I'm sorry."

Yoppi sighed to her pillow as she heard the same words mumbled to her back. The arm around stomach since they laid down in the mattress never let go of her stomach and Mayu has never stopped apologizing since they were finished with practice and went back to the dorm. Even after Yoppi told her thrice that everything's fine before they went to their bedroom, Mayu seemed didn't convince by it.

"I'm really sorry..." She said it again to her back, but it's gotten softer. Just above a whisper. As if Mayu didn't mean to say it out loud.

"I told you already," Yoppi said slowly as she turned around to face Mayu. "It's fine, Mayu. It's really fine."

"But I know you are still upset about it so it's not fine."

How Mayu managed to see her through, in the darkness of their room, Yoppi didn't ask. Mayu always knows about it.

The leader looked at her eyes. "I'm just sad that you lied to me, that you lied to the girls. You never do that before, and I didn't expect you to ever do that to us." Yoppi said as she looked at the ceiling above them. The familiar jealousy feeling creeping into her heart.

 _And the fact that you missed our practice because you were with that Shiho. It's really hard to believe you did something like that._

"But I understand why you did that, and really, it's fine, Mayu."

Mayu leaned closer and hug Yoppi, putting her head in Yoppi's shoulder. Her hand wrapped around Yoppi's waist.

Her voice tickled Yoppi's neck as she spoke, "That's why I'm really sorry... I know this sounds like an excuse but really, I just can't leave Shiho that time," she tightened her hand around Yoppi's waist, her voice starting to shake, "and I don't know how you guys would react if I said the truth, that I met an I-1 member. I was scared, I guess... I'm really sorry about it."

"Don't be," Yoppi put her hand above Mayu's, gently rubbed it. "How many times I told you it's fine?"

"But-"

"And I overreacted too, didn't I?" Yoppi said. The warm from Mayu's body is too comfortable, she started getting sleepy. "I'm sorry for snapping at you in front of the girls, and about the scrunchy too..."

"You made the scrunchy for us by yourself, so if I really lost it, I would so mad at myself too so you aren't at fault."

Yoppi smiled at her fellow member's voice. "It's just a scrunchy. Not anything big."

But Mayu can be so stubborn too sometimes. "You made it for us. That's enough to count the scrunchy as an important thing for me. For us."

Yoppi felt the usual fluttering feeling she always felt whenever Mayu said the right words right to her heart. With the closeness between them, she's pretty sure Mayu can hear the sudden fast beating of her foolish heart.

She heard Mayu sighed again. "I swear, Yoppi, nothing's important for me right now than WUG, than our concert... It just that Shiho was really sad and I can't-"

Yoppi believed in Mayu's words, but she had enough of that name. "I know, I'm sorry too. I believe you, okay?" she said as she stared at Mayu and cupped her cheeks gently. "This is just one time you made mistake. And it's fine, Mayu. Everyone makes mistake."

Yoppi remembered the times Mayu came home late at night because of her drama and had to leave again early in the morning, struggling between the group schedule and filming schedule. Mayu always been so busy but she still tried to help with the concert preparation, the practice, also gave them idea with the lyric writing. Yoppi remembered when Mayu sleep in the middle of their meeting, tired all written in her face.

Yoppi remembered every time she feeling down and unsure with their condition, how Mayu always managed to encourage her with her smile, always helping her and telling her what to do and what not, always the pure girl who help everyone else.

"You should sleep," she caressed Mayu's cheeks. Mayu's big eyes still looking at her with guilt. The last thing she ever wanted to see in Mayu's eyes are sad and tears. Yoppi now felt really sorry for scolding her best friend earlier. "You still have schedule tomorrow. I don't want the staff talking about you because you have bags under your eyes."

"Alright," Mayu nodded slowly, but remained in her place hugging Yoppi. "You believed me, right?"

"Of course," Yoppi smiled.

Mayu nodded again and closed her eyes. She fell asleep in instant in Yoppi's shoulder, her arms still wrapping around Yoppi's waist, her soft snore bringing smile to the leader.

"I'm sorry for getting angry over Shiho," Yoppi whispered, she didn't want to wake Mayu. She just needed to let this out of her mind. "I know she's your best friend but the fact she is in other group, the famous I-1, and you lied to us about it… I can't help but worried over these little things."

Yoppi sighed. She trust Mayu won't do anything to ruin their group. Mayu loves them, she knows and she's sure about it. But her heart has been so stubborn to let this go this easily, although she herself telling Mayu it's fine. Maybe she actually has been trying to tell herself that it's really fine.

"Or maybe I'm just over jealous that you met her," she gritted her teeth. "To see you spending a lot times with her because your drama… And now too."

Mayu moved a little and snuggled closer to Yoppi, if it even possible. Mayu always put her smile on her face, in every hard and bad situation they had, and sleep is the only time she let go off her strong behavior. Yoppi smiled as she watched her sleep, and the super idol Shimada Mayu turned into a little kid in her arm, in need of her protection and love.

She kissed her head gently, buried her nose with Mayu's thick hairs. "I need you," she whispered as quiet as she could. "Can you promise not to leave us? I know this is silly and I know you said you won't leave us but still..."

She sighed again. The fear she felt when she heard Mayu spending time with Shiho slowly appeared again inside her, and it's silly, but she felt like dying now.

"Please don't ever leave us." She held Mayu's hand, in need of certainty and strength, to believe everything's fine. To believe they are fine. She wants to believe it.


End file.
